A Second Chance:
The Story of a Near-Death Experience
by His Divine Grace A. C. Bhaktivedanta Swami Prabhupada

Chapter 12

Bewildered by Desire

The Yamadutas continued: “In the beginning this brahmana named Ajamila studied all the Vedic literatures. He was a reservoir of good character, good conduct, and good qualities. firmly established in executing all the Vedic injunctions, he was very mild and gentle, and he kept his mind and senses under control. Furthermore, he was always truthful, he knew how to chant the Vedic mantras, and he was also very pure. Ajamila was very respectful to his spiritual master, the fire-god, guests, and the elders of his household. Indeed, he was free from false prestige. He was upright, benevolent to all living entities, and well behaved. He would never speak nonsense or envy anyone.

 “Once Ajamila, following the order of his father, went to the forest to collect fruit, flowers, and two kinds of grass, called samit and kusa. On the way home he came upon a lusty fourth-class man (sudra) shamelessly embracing and kissing a prostitute. The sudra was smiling, singing, and enjoying as if this were proper behavior. Both the sudra and the prostitute were drunk. The prostitute’s eyes were rolling in intoxication, and her dress had become loose. Such was the condition in which Ajamila saw them.

 “The sudra, his arm decorated with turmeric powder, was embracing the prostitute. When Ajamila saw her, the dormant lusty desires in his heart awakened, and in illusion he fell under their control. As far as possible he patiently tried to remember the instructions of the sastras not even to see a woman. With the help of this knowledge and his intellect, he tried to control his lusty desires, but because of the force of Cupid within his heart, he failed to control his mind.” (Srimad-Bhagavatam 6.1.56–62)

Brahminical Qualifications

The order-carriers of Yamaraja, the Yamadutas, are explaining the factual position of piety and impiety and how a living entity is entangled in this material world. Describing the history of Ajamila, the Yamadutas relate that in the beginning he was a learned scholar of the Vedic literature. He was well behaved, neat and clean, and very kind to everyone. In fact, he had all good qualities. In other words, he was a perfect brahmana. A brahmana is expected to be perfectly pious, to follow all the regulative principles, and to have all good qualities. The symptoms of piety are explained in these verses.

Apparently Ajamila followed the rules and regulations of celibacy as a perfect brahmacari and was very softhearted, truthful, clean, and pure. How he fell down in spite of all these qualities and thus came to be threatened with punishment by Yamaraja is described here.

Because Ajamila was born into a brahmana family, he was naturally sruta-sampanna. Sruta means that by hearing the Vedas, Ajamila was rich in Vedic knowledge. In India brahmanas are called panditas, “learned men.” A brahmana cannot be a fool and a rascal. Therefore one who has no knowledge of the Vedas cannot be a brahmana. Simply reading the Vedas from a scholastic viewpoint is useless. One must practically apply the knowledge of the Vedas. Armchair Vedantists smoke cigarettes while reading Vedanta, but that kind of study is useless. We have seen many so-called sannyasis talking on Vedanta, smoking all the while. Ajamila was not that type. He was a scholar of Vedic literature, and he was very well behaved. A brahmana must study the Vedas under the guidance of a spiritual master, and after the purificatory process of upanayana-samskara, he becomes dvija, or twice-born. At that time the sacred thread is offered to such a person. This is the sign by which we can understand a person has formally accepted a spiritual master. It is a kind of badge.

One who is not twice-born is unqualified to understand the Vedas. It is not that just because one happens to know a little Sanskrit he becomes expert in Vedic knowledge. Many foreign scholars have translated the Vedas, but we do not accept their translations as bona fide, because a student of the Vedas must be dvija. When a person has become truthful, able to control his mind and senses, clean, simple and tolerant, full of knowledge, and able to practically apply knowledge in life, and when he has full faith in God, Krsna, he is dvija. Such a person can be said to have become a duly qualified brahmana, and he is able to study and understand the Vedas.

Ajamila was not only born in a brahmana family, but he was qualified in Vedic knowledge. In his youth he studied the Vedas completely. He was silavan, “very gentle.” He was also sad-acara, which means he observed the habit of keeping clean and rising early in the morning to attend Vedic temple ceremonies, such as mangala-arati. He was a reservoir of good qualities. We too can be sad-acara if we practice devotional service regularly, including daily attendance at mangala-arati and chanting sixteen rounds of the Hare Krsna mantra on beads. These practices will gradually cleanse us of material contamination.

Upon accepting initiation from the spiritual master, one takes a vow to perform these spiritual activities daily. Even the six Gosvamis of Vrndavana, who were liberated personalities, regularly chanted the maha-mantra many times daily, and they never failed to offer their obeisances to the Deity and the devotees. Raghunatha dasa Gosvami would offer obeisances flat on the ground (dandavats) many times daily. These activities indicate that the Gosvamis were dhrta-vrata, accustomed to taking vows with great determination and carrying them out. Without practicing austerity and penance with firm determination, we cannot approach God. One who is serious about making spiritual advancement has to accept all these regulative principles.

Ajamila possessed all brahminical qualifications, and he knew all the necessary mantras, such as the Gayatri mantra and the Hare Krsna maha-mantra. Also, he was always rendering service to his guru. That is the first qualification of a brahmana. In Vedic times, every high-caste family performed a fire sacrifice in the morning after taking a bath and chanting Vedic mantras. Agni (the sacrificial fire) was continually lit. They offered oblations to the fire, to the guru, and then to all the adult members of the family. Thus they daily offered respect to their father and mother and to the spiritual master. Nowadays this is not done, but in the Vedic system this was the first business of the day.

A good example of this practice of respecting elders is Yudhisthira Maharaja, the great saintly Pandava king. After the battle of Kuruksetra, Yudhisthira and his four brothers would go every day to offer their respects to their paternal uncle, Dhrtarastra. Dhrtarastra had contrived many plots to destroy the Pandavas, finally declaring war on them, but the result was that every one of his hundred sons died. Even after he lost the war, he still refused to welcome his nephews, the sons of his brother Pandu. This was a great insult to King Yudhisthira. One day Dhrtarastra’s younger brother, Vidura, a great Vaisnava, went to Dhrtarastra and said, “My dear brother, you are so shameless that first you declare war against the Pandavas, and now that you are an old man, still you do not receive King Yudhisthira as your guest, yet you live in his house at his expense. Are you so shameless, my dear brother?” Vidura spoke in this way just to help Dhrtarastra break his attachment to family life. Dhrtarastra was an old man, and all his sons were dead, but still he sat in his household arrangement, eating nicely prepared food. From this we can understand that family attachment is very strong. Vidura chastised Dhrtarastra: “You are coughing up mucus because you are very old, and your liver is weak. You will die very soon, yet you are still sitting in your comfortable chair, just like a dog. Have you no more shame than a dog, which always sits waiting for his master to feed him?”

Upon hearing Vidura’s harsh words, Dhrtarastra’s hard heart softened, and he replied,“Yes! My dear brother Vidura, please let me know what I should do.”

Vidura said, “Come with me immediately to the forest. For the remaining days of your life, just engage yourself in Krsna consciousness. Come with me.” So without telling anyone, Dhrtarastra left with Vidura, and Gandhari, Dhrtarastra’s faithful wife, followed. Together they went to the forest to finish their life in meditation on the Lord.

When King Yudhisthira came to offer his obeisances in the morning and saw that his uncles were not there, he became anxious, considering that Dhrtarastra was an old man. At that time the great sage Narada Muni appeared and informed him, “Do not worry. Dhrtarastra and his wife, Gandhari, have been brought to the forest by your uncle Vidura.”

This story from the Srimad-Bhagavatam illustrates the system of offering respects to the elderly members of the family. After the morning’s duties are performed, next one must go and offer obeisances to the spiritual master and the elderly persons in the family. One must also offer respects to a guest. Usually we know when a certain guest is coming to our home and can make preparations beforehand, but sometimes it happens that someone comes unexpectedly, and he too must be received with respect. And when it comes to eating, the head of the family should feed the older members first, then his children and other members of the family. He will eat last, and before he eats his food he should stand in the road and call out, “If anyone is hungry, please come. I still have not taken my food, and you are welcome!” Some remnants of food should be kept at home in anticipation of unexpected guests. The Vedic principle is that when someone comes and begs, “Sir, I am hungry,” a man must give the hungry guest his own food even if he himself remains hungry. That is real grhastha-asrama. I have seen that a young man will not smoke in the presence of an old man without permission, even if they are strangers. So a young man will show consideration even to an older stranger, what to speak of his father or elder brother. In Vedic society, any older man is offered respect. These principles are not hard and fast, but this is Vedic custom.

Thus Ajamila was trained in his youth to offer respect to the spiritual master and his elders. This is one of the symptoms of sad-acara. Gentleness is another symptom. In other words, he was friendly to all living beings. A real brahmana is the friend of everyone, even an ant.

In this regard there is a story about Narada Muni and a hunter. Once Narada Muni was passing through a forest near Prayag and saw that many animals were lying half-dead. Feeling compassion for the suffering creatures, he cried out, “Who is the culprit who is killing these animals, leaving them to die in this way?”

The barbaric hunter Mrgari answered, “Dear sage, please let me do my business. If you have come here to beg for a deerskin, I shall give it to you.”

But Narada said, “I haven’t come to beg anything from you, but to ask why you are only half-killing these animals. It is a great sin. It is better that you kill them outright.”

Mrgari replied, “My father taught me to kill them like this. I did not know it is sinful.”

Narada said, “Yes, it is very sinful. You will have to suffer very much for it.”

The hunter became thoughtful and asked, “What should I do?”

Narada Muni advised him, “Give up this nonsense business.”

Mrgari protested, “Then how shall I eat?”

But Narada Muni said, “I shall provide you with food.”

The hunter agreed, “All right, if you give me food, I can give up this business.”

Narada Muni then requested Mrgari to sit down on the bank of the Ganges and chant Hare Krsna before a sacred tulasi plant. Narada Muni went to the nearby village and announced that a pure Vaisnava was now chanting nearby on the bank of the Ganges. Upon seeing Mrgari sitting and chanting peacefully, the village people said to one another, “He has given up his hunting business and is chanting Hare Krsna.” They began coming regularly to the bank of the Ganges to visit Mrgari. Someone brought rice, someone brought dal, and someone else brought fruit. The food began to pile up.

The hunter Mrgari wondered, “Why is Narada Muni sending me so much food? I have only myself and my wife to maintain.” Thus he began distributing the food. Chanting Hare Krsna and distributing prasadam daily, he became a perfect Vaisnava. (This is the system introduced in this Krsna consciousness movement—chanting the Hare Krsna maha-mantra and distributing prasadam. In every temple of Krsna we do this.)

After some time, Narada Muni called upon his friend Parvata Muni and said, “I have a very nice disciple who was a hunter. Let us go and see how he is doing.” Parvata Muni agreed. When the two sages approached Mrgari’s house, they saw that he was jumping this way and that. Upon seeing Narada Muni, he prepared to offer obeisances at his feet, but before he did so he took the edge of his dhoti and gently brushed away the ants crawling on the ground so as not to crush them. He had been jumping because he was trying to avoid stepping on the ants. This was the very man who a short time before had been tormenting all kinds of animals, yet now he was not prepared to kill even an ant. That is the nature of a Vaisnava.

So, Ajamila had this quality of gentleness, which is prominent in brahmanas. Also, despite all his training, Ajamila was not proud. He was free of ahankara, or false ego. The very word ahankara means “I am doing this, I am doing that, and therefore I have become so big.” Ajamila was free of this attitude. Nor was he envious. In these degraded times, everyone is envious of one or more persons. But brahmanas like Ajamila are free of this propensity. Only when one has acquired these brahminical qualities and is accustomed to brahminical habits can one expect to be liberated from material bondage.

Ruined by Sex Attraction

Unfortunately, as related in these verses, Ajamila lost his brahminical status. Once, as a young man, Ajamila went to collect flowers and other articles for Deity worship. His father ordered him, “Bring all these things from the forest.” While coming back, Ajamila came upon a fourth-class man and a prostitute, who are vividly described here. Drunkenness was sometimes manifest even in bygone ages, although not very frequently. In the present Age of Kali, however, such sin is to be seen everywhere, for people all over the world have become shameless. Long ago, when Ajamila saw the scene of the drunken sudra and the prostitute, he was affected, although up until then he had been a perfect brahmacari. Nowadays promiscuity is visible in so many places, and we must consider the position of a brahmacari student who sees such behavior. For such a brahmacari to remain steady is very difficult unless he is extremely strong in following the regulative principles. Nevertheless, one who takes to Krsna consciousness very seriously can withstand the provocation of sin.

In our Krsna consciousness movement we prohibit illicit sex, intoxication, meat-eating, and gambling. In Kali-yuga, a drunken, half-naked woman embracing a drunken man is a very common sight, especially in the Western countries, and restraining oneself after seeing such things is very difficult. Nevertheless, if by the grace of Krsna a man adheres to the regulative principles and chants the Hare Krsna mantra, Krsna will certainly protect him. Indeed, Krsna says that His devotee is never vanquished (kaunteya pratijanihi na me bhaktah pranasyati). Therefore all the disciples practicing Krsna consciousness should obediently follow the regulative principles and remain fixed in chanting the holy name of the Lord. Then there need be no fear. Otherwise one’s position is very dangerous.

Ajamila had vowed to follow the regulative principles of spiritual life. But as we see, even when one is highly qualified there is the chance of a fall. Seeing the low-class couple engaged in public sex proved to be his downfall. Everyone knows that a husband and wife have sexual intercourse, but this should be done privately. Sex in public is animalistic. Similarly, sex with many partners is illicit. Nowadays illicit sex is common throughout the world, especially in the Western countries. A young girl thinks, “I will find a suitable man, attract him, and have sex, but I won’t marry him right away. I will test this man, then that man. When I have found the one who makes me happy, then I will marry.” This is the mentality of a prostitute. And similarly, the young boys are hunting for many sex partners. These are commonplace activities in Western countries, where the boys and girls receive no spiritual training.

In such a cat-and-dog society, there can be no peace. All the leaders talk about peace, and they meet in peace conferences, but there can be no peace from conferring and passing resolutions. There cannot be peace unless the whole social structure is reformed, and that can be done only by Krsna consciousness.

Krsna consciousness is cultivated by good association, just as a degraded mentality is a result of bad association. As Lord Rsabhadeva says in the Srimad-Bhagavatam (5.5. 2), mahat-sevam dvaram ahur vimuktes tamo-dvaram yositam sangi-sangam: “If we want to open the door to liberation, we should engage ourselves in the service of the mahatmas, the pure devotees, but if we want to open the door to hellish life, then we can associate with those who are very attached to women.” The lusty people of today’s so-called civilized society do not care for Krsna consciousness. They do not care for their elderly family members. They indulge in sex in the street, on the beach, in the cinema. Sex is advertised constantly to attract the attention of the people. In this way materialistic atheists add fuel to the fire of lust, and people are going to hell.

So, Ajamila became degraded by seeing a low-class couple embracing. Because both the sudra and the prostitute were drunk, their eyes were rolling, and the prostitute’s clothes were loose. Nowadays it has become fashionable to wear revealing clothing, but this practice is abominable. It simply makes the body more attractive for sex indulgence. It is said that if one’s body is smeared with turmeric, it increases the lusty desires of the opposite sex. The word kama-liptena indicates that the sudra was decorated with turmeric smeared on his body. Because the sudra and the prostitute were rascals, they were not ashamed. They exhibited themselves freely, not caring for public criticism. They were laughing, smiling, singing, and embracing, and the young Ajamila saw everything when he passed by on the road.

In modern times sexual affairs of this kind are regularly shown in the cinema, and thus it is not hard to guess what kind of character is forming in the young men and women of today. By seeing these activities only once, Ajamila fell down. In this way Ajamila’s spiritual education and training were finished. He was stunned and bewildered. When Cupid attacks, all one’s education, culture, and knowledge are lost. Therefore one has to avoid this free-mixing, lusty society. Canakya Pandita advises, “Always avoid associating with persons too attached to sense gratification. Rather, associate with those who are engaged in the devotional activities of spiritual life.” For this reason boys are sent to the gurukula, the house of the bona fide spiritual master, who trains them in spiritual life from the age of five.

Unless one is very strong in knowledge, patience, and proper bodily, mental, and intellectual behavior, controlling one’s lusty desires is extremely difficult. Thus after seeing a man embracing a young woman and practically doing everything required for sex, even a fully qualified brahmana, as described above, could not control his lusty desires and restrain himself from pursuing them. Because of the force of materialistic life, to maintain self-control is extremely difficult unless one is specifically under the protection of the Supreme Personality of Godhead through devotional service.

Next chapter (SC 13)